I put myself here the darkness of that place. With my own hands I dug the pit in which I sat. I was buried deep in sin wrapped with shame. I was covered in grime.. my smell was repulsive. There was no one to blame except myself. My soul was vexed and my mind splintered with torment. I had left my Father.. I had spit in His face. I disregarded His wonderful instruction.. I had chose my own way. My head was down and my mind remembered His wonderful embrace. Condemnation pressed upon me from every side! “Look at me, I yelled! I am unloveable! I am untouchable! I have sinned greatly against my Father!” But You reached down and touched my grime.. You embraced my repulsive smell. You did not condemn me with my thoughts! You did not leave me in the pit! You came for me with Your mighty right hand and pulled me from the depths of the abyss! You set my feet upon the Rock! You showered me with Your unfathomable mercy! You gave what I did not desire and continue with more. O Abbas arms! They never close nor shift with the shadows! There are no smoke and mirrors in Your embrace! I am clean and covered in Blood. Mercy. Mercy. Mercy. My Abba is full of compassion. Slow to anger and full of love. May I walk in Your footsteps and demonstrate Your wonderful embrace.
Come O Lord! Ride upon the clouds! Come swiftly with fire in Your eyes! Can you see my enemies who rage against me!? Come with vengeance.. come with war! Smite my adversary with Your purity! Silence these vile lies with Your Truth! End these demons with Your furious love! Yes Lord bring heaven and lets war against hell! Come let Your wrath be poured out upon the realm of darkness! Bring Your wonderful Holiness and let it blind the eyes of my enemy! Yes let Holiness arise! May Your healing hands remove the thorns of affliction from my mind! Soothe them with the oil of gladness! O yes Lord let joy burst like an explosion! Come let us light the wicks of joy and watch as it lights up the evening sky. Yes let us do it together.. You and I. Lord refocus my gaze and may I remember all Your promises. May I reflect and think back upon Your goodness. May I see You in the good times but may my eyes be opened to see You in the dark night of the soul. Arise O Lord and route Your enemies! Put deep desire within me once again! Make my feet as sure-footed as a deer that I may stand on the heights You desire me to conquer. Come Lord let us go to our secret place were it all began. Ah yes.. it was here I was born and it is here were I will remain. Death will never touch me for I have eternity swirling within my veins. Yes Father! From Glory to Glory we will go together. Come Lord, let us move on to our next Glory.
In my time with the Lord over the last while my heart has been grieved at what I see in the church regarding sexual perversion. The tolerance and casualness is breaking the heart of Christ. As I sat with Him this morning here is what I felt Him speaking. This isn’t a fist of condemnation but a strong dose of truth and reality. I pray as this is read it would cause a stirring and awakening to the bride to truly consecrate herself. I pray for holy conviction and a fiery purity to ignite in the hearts of those who read.
“My soul is vexed at the site of the one I love.. does she not see the serpent of perversion coiling around her neck? Venom drips from the fangs of this demonic serpent as its forked tongue spews lies into the ears of my bride.. Wake up my bride! Wake up! Awaken your purity! Do you not see that the venom desires to paralyze the precious purity that My Son purchased in blood!? What is this you entertain!? Put down that book! Put down these so called romance novels! What is this your eyes entertain? Turn off that movie! What is this TV show your soul is hooked to!? Wake up! What is this vile sexuality your ears crave!? Cut the cord to the music that feeds the belly of this serpent! Where is your hatred for sin!? Why are you not grieved my bride!? Where is the holiness I require!? Come out of your stupor and into sobriety! Look! I am about to send an electrifying conviction down the spine of my bride! Yes you will grow sick to your stomach at the site of sexual perversion! At its mention your ears will be pierced! What is this coarse and crude language that pours out of your mouth? Such careless language I hear from My throne! Purify yourself! My bride! Out of mercy will open your eyes and ears. You will see things the way I see! You will hear these things the way I hear and you will be vexed! See! Hear! Repent and draw near so that times of refreshing may come from My presence!”
Look my tormenters have come! How did I get in such a place!? The storm is raging against me. Hell has wrapped its tentacles around my soul. I am in the belly of the beast! O the thoughts of demons gore at my mind! Hell fires its demented essence toward my head. The sting is like that of many scorpions! How is this so my Father!? I am a son yet my soul is vexed! Like lightning a Voice from on High booms amongst the chaos..
“Take every thought captive!”
“Demolish every stronghold!”
“Destroy the serpent that try’s to exalt itself above me!”
Every demon shuttered.. every sting ceased. Just for a moment, peace ripples throughout my circumstance. My helmet of Salvation! My mind is exposed! How did I not realize how my mind was exposed? As my eyes desperately search for my helmet, hell begins to rage yet once again but my eyes have spotted where it lies! There amongst the ruins, the King Cobra has coiled itself around my helmet. He raises his head as to exalt himself above everything and spreads his hood taunting me to come near. His forked tongue spews lies but I close my eyes and know where my help comes from. Yes.. there is the surge of Power in my veins. My eyes begin to flicker with pure flames of determination. I burst into a full sprint.. my battle axe poised and ready for the head of this prince. The Spirit of the Lord is upon me and I move like lighting! One swing and the head of this price is sent rolling back to Sheol! I uncoil the dead body of fear and crown myself with the priceless gift from my Savior. Instantly a mighty and violent wind sweeps past me driving the demonic cloud to another realm. I find myself in the garden once again.. just me and my precious Savior.
Coming up out of the abyss I am surrounded by fire. My eyes see a realm only perceived in dreams. Yes I am coming up! I am leaving a place to never return again! My spirit is being pulled up into the essence of Love. I am filled with the fire of Love! My being begins to burst into the purity of Joy! Yes the realms of the heaven literally pull me out of the snarls of hell like a vortex of furious love. Tears flow down my face as I begin to peer into the blazing eyes of Life itself. My being begins to shake beyond control for the power that exudes from this Man is beyond anything that exists! O how He has pulled me from the watery depths of Sheol and set my feet upon the Rock! Yes! I run upon a firm foundation! My foot does not slip nor do my ankles turn. He causes me feet to become like the feet of a deer! I can scale walls and ascend the mountains with ease. O the mercy in those blazing eyes! How they fill me with hope and life! Now here comes a jolt of Grace surging through my soul! Yes it is the strength of my God! It gives me the faith to believe what was done upon Calvary is sufficient for my every need! I need not do a thing but believe. Jesus place your beautiful hands upon my head and speak a better word upon my mind! Breathe upon me once again! Possess me Jesus. Possess my mind! Holy Spirit come into every fiber of my being. Saturate me. Consume me. Let me return to my first Love once again! Renew the Joy of my Salvation! May I find peace in every storm that rages against me! May a be asleep next to you while the storm rages outside the boat. May I be like at your feet like Mary. Yes let me be like John and lay my head against your chest. Tune my ear to the heartbeat of Heaven. To You O Lord I lift up my soul.
The Sweet Presence permeates round about me. Peace like an oil is poured upon my head. My mind is enveloped in the ecstasy of Joy. What is the price man could place upon this Peace my soul possesses? No price could be paid for this Rest my mind receives! What Perfection! What Completeness! O how I feel fully alive!!
But in an instance… ravaging fangs sink into the core of my mind! O my peace!! O my rest!! Where have you gone!? Violent chaos, how were you able to enter such Perfection!? My mind! My mind! It pulsates with terror and fear! Anxiety has wrapped itself within me constricting the lungs of my soul! My eyes have grown dim and the light of my heart grown faint. The venom released from those ravaging fangs.. it burns like acid eating away at my heart! O Father! Father! Father! Hear me Your very own son! Come with vengeance! Grant me justice against my adversary! I lift my hands to were my help comes from. I will not submit to the pain! My mind will vomit this venom! I will burst into holy fire and consume this coiled beast! Ahh yes! There it is! Like a shotgun blast my Lord rages against my enemy! Just one glance from His fiery eyes and my Peace pours in like a flood! Oh my Rest has returned! Yes, there is my Joy! Who can stop my Lord!? Though a thousand stand against me, my hope is the One in me. I will lean my head against the heart of my Savior. I will be soothed by the rhythm of Heaven. In His arms.. in the shadow of the Almighty.. I will abide.
Once again my arm is outstretched reaching towards the Heavens! I will reach! Yes I will breach the realm of the natural into the supernatural. I will fight with all my might against the resistance.. hell will stand no chance, for the Kingdom of Heaven suffers violence and the violent take it by force! My hands will lay hold of the miraculous! I will hurl it back to earth with force! There will be explosions of Glory. There will be earth shattering power! Theres going to be a collision! Let Heaven come! Invade the earth! Dominate! Dominate! Rend the Heavens Lord! Let me see the fire of Your eyes! They blaze with passion for your sons and daughters! With just once glance from Your eyes my heart is ravished. Yes come! I desire to see Your hair white as wool! Let me hear Your voice as many rushing waters! Let those waters wash over me like the crashing waves of the sea! What fierceness yet tenderness You possess my King. Your essence surges life to my soul! In Your presence I am fully alive! Just look my direction and I will be complete lacking nothing. Soothe the aches of my soul.. place Your healing hand upon my mind! Come near O Lord! Let the train of Your robe fill my temple! Take Your rightful place in the Heavens and upon the earth! Breathe upon us! Let the two realms collide!
What familiar ground I stand upon this day. Many times my feet have fought to press onward from this place …but they have failed. My mind has been to this place but could never conceive beyond its threshold. Yes, I am at the threshold. This is the gate my heart has so desperately desired to enter but so often been crushed…some days it was thought to be beyond repair. Here in this place I can see the blood, the sweat and the tears of my war. As I stand at this threshold it begins to happen again. I can smell it.. I can feel that O so familiar shiver start to shoot down my spine. The needle like thoughts start to pierce my mind.. my heart begins to pound in terror..that feverish feeling grips my body…he’s here again. And then he manifests right before my eyes. He’s always got that nasty crooked smile and his smell is beyond vile. His friends stand close by his side snarling, mouth dripping with venom ready to sink their fangs in my flesh. Fear is swirling around me like a demonic vortex. It is here I have lost so many battles. It is in this place I have been beaten and tormented. I can see it in their eyes.. they’re so sure of their victory. Everything feels the same as before…but today is different. They can’t see it…but I have it. I’ve been sharpening it for over 12 years. Haha..there it is! What a surge of power! My veins are pulsating with Blood that never fails. There it is.. my eyes burst into holy flames. Now I see what is true. My ears hear the whisper from on high, “Victory.” And now my ears hear the most beautiful sound.. the creaking of an opening door. Never before had I heard this wonderful sound. And what my adversaries don’t understand about today is.. its my time. That door, that gate.. IT’S MINE!
Your Rod and Your Staff
Who am I but a simple shepherd boy? Who sees me but just a handful of sheep? Was anyone there to see me when I fell? Was anyone there to see my victory? Who was it that saw me stop to mend the soul of another? Was there one to pat me on the back in the field when I was all alone? No, there was no one but my Rock. There was no applause by men nor did I glimmer in a spot light.. no my victory was seen by an audience of One. Who was it that taught me to war the demonic spirits while they sunk their dripping wet fangs into my flesh? Who was it that pulled out the stinger of the great scorpion from my back!? In the middle of the night when my soul was vexed.. who wiped the acid like tears that streamed down my cheeks? Who delivered me from the demonic paw of the bear upon my chest!? Who was there to cut the head off the python who had constricted itself around my throat? Who was it that was there to understand me when everyone else misunderstood me? There was no one.. no one but my Shepherd. It was You Lord.. it was You whom my victory belongs too! It was you who has delivered me from the fangs of Sheol! You give light to my eyes. You give peace to my weary soul! Yes it was You my Shepherd who carried me when the tormentors broke my legs! It was you who mended the gaping wounds. You are my strong tower in whom I take refuge. You are the one I lean into when my strength fails me. Your rod and Your staff.. they comfort me.
Threshold of resistance.. I have been knocked back long enough. No longer will you be able to change my direction. No longer will you have the upper hand. Through you I will go into the next realm. Yes, Break Through is the power I possess.. push me and ill push you back with raging Power. Go on! Push me again and you will fill the Earth will shake! Go on, knock me back just one more time and All Consuming Fire will roar out of my mouth! You have gripped my throat far to many times for today my throat contains a weapon, it is my voice! “Be uprooted mountain of resistance!” See what you have done!? Oh how the tables have turned! In all your resisting you thought you had weakened me.. but I become stronger! Yes with each push.. with each fall.. with each blow I became more powerful. I now swell with voltage from On High! Go on.. touch me just once more, it’ll be your last. This day the sole of my foot treads across you threshold. Today your kingdom shatters. Today the honor goes to my King.. so bow down.